I'm confused and need help with some outside advice regarding my broken marriage?

My husband and I have been separated for awhile and now he has a girlfriend who lives with him. They met in and lived in Miami for awhile. Things didn't worked out so he moved back to New York (where my 10 yr old daughter and I live). Well lo and behold she's here now and I suppose they are together again. I am trying to get my life together for my daughter and I. I spoke to him yesterday afternoon and he told me he was on his was to work (he barbacks in Manhattan). This morning a get a "friend request" from him on facebook. I really doubt it was him who set it up (the girlfriend did-I can bet on it) because he was working last night and I check Facebook constantly for my messages. Why would she do this to me? I have left them alone to be to themselves but why involve me in your relationship. She has facebook too and I do not care for this woman nor to be her friend? Why is she being spiteful? Don't you think she's done enough to hurt me? I want to be the better person.I'm confused and need help with some outside advice regarding my broken marriage?
who says there is anything spiteful in this request.......only you have jumped to this conclusion.





if you don't want to be friends with him..... or her...... do not except the request.... duh. you make something so easy.... difficult.I'm confused and need help with some outside advice regarding my broken marriage?
women who sleep with married men are whacked in the head.

they are attention whores. You have ALL the respectability, you are the queen bee. you are the wife of his covenant marriage before God, she is the whore before God. she will always be unstable and insecure. You will always be a bone of contention between them.
It may be that she taught him to use facebook... it's not that hard. Seems like they don't want to be friends but they just want to keep tabs on you as many people on facebook do, sadly. I would reject the friend request.I'm confused and need help with some outside advice regarding my broken marriage?
If you want to be the better person...just ignore the request and go about your day. She cannot hurt you unless you allow her to. Choose not to play the game.
Do not care about her. Ingnore her. Move on with your life and you live happy for your lovely daughter. Forget about her. You have nothing to do with her.
Block her request. Sheesh - don't read into it.



Sounds like he's moved on - you need too as well.
Some people love drama, and apparently this woman is one of them. You sound like you are being the bigger and better person and a responsible mother, by just getting on with your life and letting everyone else live theirs. Keep ignoring this woman, and your ex-husband. Its not fair that they moved closer to you, and that you have to put up with them, but stand your ground. Eventually they'll learn that you don't play childish games, and they'll find someone else to engage with in their drama. Best of Luck to you, you are truly a strong woman!
stop thinking why. she's a *****, she going to stay a *****, you can't change her. my advice is that you should just ignore her and start moving on with your life. go clubbing with your girlfriends, get a new man or start taking tennis lessons. why must you show this man that you're suffering? he's enjoying, so start enjoying. get a divorce and move on with your life. it's the best revenge in the world.



Good Luck
You are still a threat to her. During the little break up you really don't know what came out between them. In the heat of an argument people often voice their regrets. Leaving you and the child might have been one of them. So now since he has come closer to her closest competition she has to monitor whats going on. Be elusive don't chat it up of face-book with him because even if it is him she has access to his account
You go about this all the wrong way.



1. File for divorce.



2. Don't assume it's her. Maybe it's him but who cares, just ignore the friend request.



3. You shed all your anger on her. That's a huge mistake. You're not saying he left you for her so why the hate toward her? You should hate your husband for abandoning you and your child.



So time to do some cleaning up in your life. File for divorce, move on with your life and try to meet someone nice. You will have to accept her eventually.



If she's the one that added you it's because she thinks you all can be civilized to each other.......aparently you are not ready for that.



Are you blaming your ex for moving closer to his daugther?



I read bitterness all over this question.
Well since you and him are on speaking terms, throw the ball and ask him if he requested you as a friend on facebook. If he tells you know, say, "well, it is you, so if you didn't, then your girlfriend set up an account in your name, and requested me as a friend. I don't know why, but maybe you should talk to her. I don't need any trouble, so she can back off."



If she set up an account, and did this, then he is obviously going to confront her. Now you just made it her problem, and maybe she'll be too embarassed that you figured it out after that and leave you alone.
First of all i'm really sorry to hear about your situation. I know life can be hard and this woman who is causing you pain is trying to rub the pain in. We can't tell you why she is doing it but if you want to be the better person don't let it get to you. Deny the friend request and continue on trying to forget the pain. If anything i hate to say this because i'm against divorce but maybe its time you requested a divorce and got him out of your life. Work things out from there. I promise you things may look dark but they will get better just stay strong and have faith.

Good Luck

God Bless
Block the request. Then, when he comes to see his daughter the next time, explain to him that you got that request and assumed it was from his current girlfriend. (If it was, she will be exposed to him as trying to meddle in your life...and she should be!) Tell him you want to communicate about your daughter only and by phone, text, or in person only. While this woman may one day be your daughter's step-mom, and you will have to see her, and be polite to her, at family functions, you do not have to be her friend or even have conversations with her. Keep your contact with your ex limited to your child, too.
The only way she would have hurt you is if she was the reason for your break up, but that does not seem to be the case since you say "now he has a girlfriend".



Do not accept the "friend request", try to stay away as much as you possibly can and do not give any reason to have any contact other than when your daughter is concerned. This is the only way you can show them you are not interested in their lives.



One good piece of advise and I do not mean anything but a constructive criticism; stop checking Facebook constantly for your messages. This could be taking valuable time away from you when you can utilize that time for more productive and constructive things. Good luck
I believe the girlfriend feels threatened that he moved back to New York and the fact still remains that you two are not divorced. Because of this, in her mind, she's probably thinking that there's still hope. It seems this female is doing these little petty things because she trying to gather information. She wants to know if there is any communication between you two other than your daughter. Females llike that are very hard to deal with, because they won't face you like a woman, and discuss the truth- the fact that you and your husband has to have some kind of communication/relationship for the sake of your daughter. In this situation, I think what's best is to talk to him about this, let him know what's going on, because honestly, you dont need the drama. I hope this helps.
Why do you care, why she'd do this to you?



Listen sweetie - YOU are STILL the WIFE. She's wet-wet on the side. She has no real pull...and no real authority. A second-hand chick can NEVER replace the wife, separated and all.



You have so much power honey - that if he were to marry her, YOU'd be able to have HER taxes garnished for child support.



F**k her. She's small change...you're the cashier, don't forget that.